I can’t not take a quick swagger through the cosmetics aisle whenever I go to the drugstore. (This time, it was my local Duane Reade and I was on a run for swim diapers.)

I don’t know how I have missed this eyeliner in the past, what with it’s alluring chubbiness, conical shape and the word “smoldering” in its name. I mean, if I had to describe my soul-mate in eyeliner form, smoldering would definitely be attribute numero uno. My spiritual eye pencil match would also be deeply pigmented and smooth to apply, with the ability to smudge. And if it came with its own custom sharpener to maintain its perfect point and contoured shape that enables its stellar application, I think I might see stars.

And I did. For less than $9 at the drugstore.